Finding "My Why"

As a commitment to be transparent and authentic, I wanted to share my "Why" for venturing out and starting my own company. The short answer - my greatest enjoyment in life comes from helping others find success in whatever brings them joy and fulfillment. By doing this, we have the trickle-down effect, especially with leaders. If you as a leader are in alignment and fulfilled, your teams and peers feel it too. Ultimately by helping leaders become their best selves, we are creating an environment "in flow".

Now for the behind-the-scenes view, how did I make the decision to leave the security of my corporate role to venture out on the path of starting my own organization? I loved my job and who I worked with. I was challenged every day in a positive way and made a difference in the lives of many. But something didn't feel right. I was losing myself and I needed to dig deeper to determine my true purpose and path to alignment.

For so many years, my head had been so clouded and full of noise that I could never tune into what I really needed. I was juggling so many demands that I wasn't tuning into my heart and was completely shutting out my intuition. I was in survival mode, trying to get everything done without thinking about it. It was "easier" for me to stick to the status quo and go to work every day and try to squeeze in time to be a mom, a partner and for those things that brought me joy personally, while being absolutely burned out. It wasn't until it all came crashing down, through a divorce and the loss of my dad that something in me shifted.

Finding my Purpose - Using Ikigai

On the journey of coming back to my purpose, I found myself leaning into the Japanese concept of Ikigai. It is a simple model that I had turned to in the past when coming to crossroads in my life and career. It helps me reflect and come back to myself, my talents and what brings me joy and fulfillment.

The concept of Ikigai is simple but requires some deep reflection. It is essentially the convergence of four primary elements to find your purpose:

• Your Passion - what you love

• Your Mission- what the world needs

• Your Vocation - what you are good at

• Your Profession - what you can get paid for

It took me a bit to quiet the noise in my head and reflect on these elements. I also had multiple discussions with my coaching colleagues to get deeper and shut out the fear that seemed to creep in when I was getting ahead of myself and how I was going to make everything happen. The highlights of my thoughts are below.

• What do I love? - helping my colleagues and friends be their best selves, find fulfilment in their work and personal lives and celebrating their successes, being a mom, travelling and experiencing different cultures

• What the world/others need? - kindness, reflection and direction, a partner and a path out of the chaos, positive energy to help raise their own vibration, encouragement, model of possibilities

• What am I good at? - finding a systematic path forward, guiding individuals to their own purpose and alignment, building high functioning teams, creating positive and supportive culture, being a mom (both personal and "project")

• What can I get paid for? - helping others reach their personal and professional goals, build high energy and productive teams and culture, modeling courageous action and a path for others

So now that I had some clarity around my purpose, I had to look at my current situation to see whether I was in alignment with my purpose and talents.

Finding Alignment - Head, Heart and Gut

As part of my coaching education and experience, there were many tools and reflective practices to determine whether you are actually doing what you are "meant to do". Many assessments which provide valuable insight to your emotional space as well as your skills and experiences. The one tool that I come back to often when making big decisions or feeling myself out in a new environment is related to alignment - Head, Heart and Gut.

It is super simple concept and most effective when you have a few minutes to quiet the mind. I often sit down, put on some instrumental or mediation music and reflect on these 3 simple questions and journal away.

• What does my head tell me?

• What does my heart tell me?

• What does my gut (intuition) tell me?

It took multiple sessions to come to a point of clarity to dramatically change my life, but ultimately, I knew I needed to make a shift. Highlights below and extensively more vulnerable than I have ever been but in the hopes that you may see a nugget or two for yourself.

My head - this was the hard one as I knew I had a stable job at a well-respected company that I could likely continue into retirement. But I could see the environment shifting that would require even more time away from my daughter, friends and extended family, as well as additional expectations as the promotion cycle loomed. On the other side, I knew I had skills and experiences that I could expand on and the support of many to take a leap to try something new. If I didn't do it now, would I ever do it? Would I come to the end of my life with regrets of what I didn't do?

My heart -

My job: I loved what I did in building high performance teams and coaching others to become their best selves. But I was always on my toes whether I was overstepping given coaching restrictions I had based on a sabbatical I had taken a couple years ago. I wanted to reach a larger audience, without restrictions and felt I had a larger message to share.

My personal life: I worked tirelessly for 7 years to become a mom. I know I was a role model for what she could achieve. I also know that after long days, travel, a mind that was constantly solving work problems, that I wasn't showing up as the mom that I wanted to be. I was also putting my health and wellness on the back burner. I personally believe that striving for "work-life balance" puts undo stress as consistent balance is almost impossible to attain, but I was not achieving a "work-life integration" that was optimal for my future self and family. I needed a space to make that shift in priorities without a level of guilt.

My gut - I instinctively know that I can help other leaders, in whatever capacity they lead others. To grow and expand their skills sets, thus help elevate their teams, peers and stakeholders in the process. To provide a mirror for reflection and self-awareness leading to change, in a compassionate and positive manner. I know that all of the experiences that I have gone through have been paths to growth and can be used to help others. I know I can do all of these things while taking care of my wellness and being an amazing mom to my daughter. Now is the time to go all in, take a chance, be a voice and serve others.

Now that I have shared a little of my journey to my why, I would love to help you along your path of discovery and growth. Please reach out for a complimentary consultation to jump start your own journey, shannon@debackerassociates.com.